Keimy Ali

A boyfriend would feel entitled to make demands on my time, on my attention, to have some say in the relationship. What did I need that for when I could get everything I wanted at no cost?Maybe this wasn't love and forever after; maybe it was just infatuation. Perhaps I had just been caught up in the moment. It was a most excellent moment to be sure, but a moment nonetheless.I loved being with Jeff, but I could do that whenever I wanted without having to make any kind of commitment.Well, maybe I couldn't. I would ask him for a specific time and he wasn't always available. That had never happened to me before. Was this the flip side of guys wanting a girl because she made herself unavailable?No way. Jeff was too open and honest to play a game like that. He was also too inexperienced according to Sunny. He probably didn't even know there was such a game.I wasn't sure how I felt about him because I was in uncharted territory. I wanted to get closer to him, but at the same time it was a. At that moment it seemed the right thing to do. "But enough about school," she said, "what do you do for fun?"Fantasize about you. I swear, the phrase came into my head and it was hard to shake. I glanced at her bookshelf. "Oh, reading..."I felt stupid for not having more to say. How would someone like her ever be interested in someone like me? She smiled and her smile was warm. "I bet you have more fun than that," she said. "Got a--friend?" No," I said, feeling embarrassed."Well, you just got here a few months ago."It hit me. Before I'd been thinking about making casual conversation with her and now we were doing just that! Not much help from me with my one-word answers. But it was almost like my fantasy. I felt my heart start to beat and realized I was considering taking a leap, a dangerous leap. I wondered if I could do it and live with myself.But something inside me said I had to. Such chances don't arise every day and this could be my only one. I did my best to calm myself.
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